Custody, custody orders, and the whole co-parent thing.
Plain-English checklists, the questions to ask a lawyer or your ex, and free legal-aid contacts for your state. Print any section, check items off, and your progress saves to this device.
Tap to check things off. Hit Print above for a clean copy to take to court.
📂 Filing for custody — first steps
Use this before you walk into a courthouse or call legal aid.
⚖️ Court day prep
Print this the night before. Tape it to the bathroom mirror.
🔄 Exchange-day playbook
Make every drop-off boring and predictable.
📅 Parenting plan must-haves
Every co-parenting agreement should answer these in writing.
🗂️ Documentation file (build this every week)
If it's not written down, it didn't happen — keep a paper trail.
Key questions to ask
Copy these to your phone notes before any call, court date, or hard conversation.
⚖️ Ask a lawyer (or legal aid intake)
→Do I qualify for free legal aid in this state?
→Do I need to file in this county, or where the kids live?
→What's the typical timeline for a custody case here?
→What's a fair custody split based on our work schedules?
→How is child support calculated in this state?
→Can I get a fee waiver if I can't pay the filing fee?
→How does the judge view a parent who left the home?
→Will the judge interview my child? At what age?
→What happens if my ex doesn't show up to court?
→Can I modify the order later if my situation changes?
🪞 Ask yourself before agreeing to anything
→Is this schedule something I can actually do for the next 2 years?
→Does this protect the kids — or just keep the peace?
→Am I agreeing because I'm scared, tired, or rushed?
→What's my safety plan on exchange days?
→Who is my emergency backup if something goes wrong?
→Am I willing to put this in writing exactly as we discussed?
💬 Talk to your co-parent (in writing, in an app)
→Can we agree on the school year schedule before lawyers get involved?
→What does 'emergency' mean to each of us?
→How do we handle sick days, snow days, daycare closures?
→What's our rule for new partners meeting the kids?
→How do we split unexpected costs (braces, sports, field trips)?
→How will we handle holidays, especially first ones post-split?
→What's our plan if one of us moves more than 30 minutes away?
🧒 Listen to the kids — without putting them in the middle
→What feels good about the new schedule?
→What's hard about the new schedule?
→Is there anything you wish was different at mom's or dad's?
→Who do you go to when you're upset there?
→Is there anything that's happened that I should know about?
→Do you ever feel scared or unsafe? It's okay to tell me.
Co-parent communication tips
📱
Use a court-recognized app
OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents, AppClose. Judges read the logs. Texts get lost — app messages don't.
🧊
The BIFF rule — Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm
Most exchanges should fit in 2 short sentences. Skip 'you always' and 'why didn't you'.
⏱️
24-hour rule
If a message makes you furious, don't reply for 24 hours. Draft, walk away, edit, then send.
📒
One topic per message
Don't pile schedule + money + complaints into one text. One topic, one ask.
🚷
Kids are not couriers
No 'tell your dad…' or 'ask your mom…'. Adults talk to adults.
This isn't legal advice.
Solo's toolkit is a starting point. State law is specific — please call legal aid (free) or a family-law attorney before signing anything. If you're in danger, call 911 or the DV Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.